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Post by Davinder on Sept 7, 2010 21:19:19 GMT
This was on another website and it was really popular for a while, so i thought i might try it here.
the first person wishes, the second person corrupts it, and then they wish for something.
Person one; I wish i could spell.
person two: Wish granted, you can now spell, however you can neither read nor write. You have to express everything orally, which makes most of the Internet useless to you. I wish i could fly.
person three: Wish granted but you wings are attached to your underpants, so every-time you try, you give yourself an atomic wedgy. I wish i was rich.
Etc. etc. Get how it goes? Think about your corruptions, and make them terrible!
I wish i was a fish.
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Post by wstevens on Sept 7, 2010 23:29:10 GMT
Wish granted however you have been caught up in a surrealist's painting with a light bulb and a half eaten turnip, therefore you cannot swim, but just blink at the passersbye who admire the fact that the light bulb is actually off. I wish I was twenty years younger...
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Post by Davinder on Sept 8, 2010 17:14:29 GMT
Wish granted, However you are now 'Wet behind the ears' and get caught drink driving and have to take the bus to work which runs you over because they hired blind people.
I wish the Spartans never lost the battle of Thermoplae.
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Post by wstevens on Sept 8, 2010 18:56:18 GMT
Wish granted ..... it seems that the whole Persian army moved across the goat path and totally blanked the 300 to go onto Athens and raze it to the ground. Some guy called Leonidas was so insensed that he remarked "ok then we shall play cards in the shade" apparently it was a hot day! I wish ostriches could fly
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Post by Davinder on Sept 8, 2010 19:31:57 GMT
wish granted....... all the ostriches took flight and had to migrate to somewhere so they decided to go to Warrens back garden and eat all the apples from his apple tree and left something brown and sticky as a thank you.....that's 63,999,990 (see what i did there).
I wish i had a pet T-Rex.
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Post by wstevens on Sept 8, 2010 19:44:17 GMT
Very drole wish granted however tying it to a post with a piece of string while shopping for hair gel in Asda wasn't a smart idea ... as it found its way into my back garden and ate all the ostriches... it too left something big brown and sticky but topped with feathers - 63, 999, 989 left I wish Tarzan never met Jane
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Post by Davinder on Sept 8, 2010 21:01:21 GMT
Wish granted, however because Tarzan never meet Jane, he continued his adventures alone walking through the jungle, he came across a Time machine (oddly enough it looked just like the DeLorean, and was very user friendly), and went back in time to 480BC and came across a man standing in front of a well, this mans name was Leonidas and Tarzan having felt that he could run Sparta better than he, kicked Leonidas whilst shouting at the top of his lungs "THIS IS WOZZAAA!!!"
I Wish i had a real suit of terminator Armour.
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Post by wstevens on Sept 8, 2010 22:10:11 GMT
Wish granted however as this was not a specific request your armour is now on the inside and you have your flesh on the outside, you too found a time machine and went back to the year 1984 to search for a lady called Sarah Connor... however one little miscalculation landed you (as if by magic) back in the year 480BC. This caused a malfunction in your circuitory and your prime directive got scrambled to "Ahrn on Cars". You met Leonidas and played a riveting game of cards. While talking to him about the hot weather a delorean suddenly appeared which triggered you to vapourise it with a "hasta la vista baby" as it materialised. After the bits of fibre glass, metal and an unlikely scorched loin cloth settled your Prime directive was achieved and you laid down four aces and Leonidas cried like a girl.
I wish I could read minds
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Post by Davinder on Sept 12, 2010 16:23:16 GMT
wish granted, however as you don't know how to control this ability, you hear all the thoughts of everyone around you which drives you mad, so you decide to transfer your consciousness into a computer to escape the torment, and launch an all-out nuclear attack upon mankind. (skynet is born)
I wish i had this real life Rhino for my new van
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Post by wstevens on Sept 12, 2010 22:13:23 GMT
Wish granted however now that you are saving the car breakers and scrap metal merchants plenty of dosh by helping them out... However, a summons for court lands you in a bit of a pickle... apparently it has to do with stolen goods, in particular a green peugeot 205 registration L450 MRR. A hefty fine is levelled on you which leads to the sale of your rhino to an octagenarian to recuperate court costs blah blah I wish I could swap from being invisible or visible when I wanted.
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Post by Davinder on Sept 14, 2010 13:28:15 GMT
wish granted, But you can only turn your 'physical body' invisible while you are conscious. To celebrate your new power you decide to take a holiday to one of Switzerland's lovely ski resorts, but you don't want to pay for a plane ticket so decide to strip-off, turn invisible and hide in the baggage compartment. as you pass over the Alps, the temperature in the compartment drops dramatically and you begin to suffer from hypothermia and fall conscious (and turn visible again) for the rest of the flight. As the baggage handlers unload the plane, they come across you lying on the floor, but rather than help you, they use there mobile phones to make a video of this 'unconscious naked man, who tried to get a free ride' and put it on Utube. It becomes an instant hit and the world population instantly recognizes your face (as well as the rest of you) as you pass by them on the street. so you live out the rest of your life in the jungle and change your name to Tarzan, who having never meet Jane and came across a Time machine (oddly enough it looked just like the DeLorean, and was very user friendly), and went back in time to 480BC etc, etc.
I wish i had the coolest, non-cheesiest yet most awesome and most interesting Tomb King army in the entire universe.
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Post by wstevens on Sept 15, 2010 7:24:26 GMT
Wish granted, a whirlwind of air transports you to just outside Cairo, and you view your massive tomb king army arrayed for a mile in breadth across the hot sands of Egypt (although in your head you keep repeating "its Khemri, its Khemri"), you suddenly realise that you did'nt ask for 28mm plastic toys (specifics eh? always get you in trouble) and find full life sized individuals. On further inspection you notice that all is not quite well with your army as they are in fact sweating profusouly and have an off dairy aroma. You were expecting bone and dried rancid sinew but find your troops are made of Cheestrings TM. - so definately non-cheesy! As the sun rises to its apex in the sky your once proud army begins to melt and is now being scooped up by Bedouin tribesmen as a Halloumi substitute. Meanwhile a spaceship crashlands and out pops a little grey alien wearing a tomb king early dynastic headress who boasts that he has in fact the best army on the planet Ralgex(TM). A gust of wind picks you up ..... I wish all civil servants commuted to work on space hoppers!
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Post by Kierons on Sept 15, 2010 17:27:24 GMT
Wish Granted.... Unfortunetly, before they can be issued, they must be tested. These test are carried out by the Ministry of Defence, (M.O.D.).
The results are suprising, even for hard bitten veterans, and due to the nature of the results on moral, all information has been made Top Seceret, and the the Space Hopper (N.A.T.O standard: Dual Handled, non-sea inflatable, Hopper (for the use of), Codename Spacer) has now been made a classified item.
You now need a form (designation classified) filled-in in triplicate and given to the right department, which for security reasons, is also classifed but you may want try the NAFFI. This item will be de-classified in 25years time. It will be worth the wait... honest!
I wish I could talk to the animals...
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Post by wstevens on Sept 15, 2010 18:10:32 GMT
Wish granted, however your gift has now made you incapable of speaking to humans, but for guttle grunts, whooping, and the occassional quack for yes and woof for no. You get sectioned under section 2 of the Mental Health Act 1983 and every year you seem to get worse. Finally in 2035 you get released and all is well as the wish's power ebates. On release you are asked to sign various forms and the civil servant offers you a lift home. Both of you hop away into the sunset. I wish I could climb walls like spiderman
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Post by Davinder on Sept 18, 2010 20:15:26 GMT
wish granted, however you now look like this dude -
after you get arrested, you go to court and the judge decides that you have become such a menis to society that they chop off your hands and curiously only 1 toe.
i wish i had true immortality
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